Outtake from LotR
by Lady Nessandra Silvermoon
Summary: written one vacation during xtreme bordem. sorry. R&R. maybe. no need to. again, i'm sorry.


Out-take LotR - Cellphones should be banned   
  
As soon as he had left Frodo, Gandalf heaved a sigh of relief. He really hated the little creep. Always staring at you like he was a mindless zombie. It made the hair on the back of his neck stand up.   
Gandalf swung up onto Shadowfax. He wanted to go to Rivendell to tell Elrond that he had told Frodo about the Ring. But he also wanted to tell Galadriel. But he also wanted to visit Sauroman. But he was also lazy, and therefore didn't want to do any of the above. Suddenly, a light bulb popped up over his head. He said, 'Ah hah!! That means I have an idea!'. And he did. He could get all those things done without doing anything. Well, he had to do something, but that something was not riding around Middle Earth and getting all tired and sweaty. He whipped out his cell phone and hit 3 on speed dial.   
Gandalf: "Guys? Are you there?"   
  
Elrond: "I'm here."   
  
Galadriel: "Ditto."   
  
Elrond: "What's up?"   
  
Gandalf: "I found the One Ring."   
  
Elrond: "Excellent! Now we can take over Middle Earth!!! *Laughs evily*"   
  
Galadriel: "No we can't!"   
  
Elrond: "*stops laughing* Why?"   
  
Galadriel: "Because it's not nice."   
  
Elrond: "*grumbling* Not nice, not nice..."   
  
Galadriel: "Mister, are you asking for a time-out?"   
  
Elrond: "No! Not a TIME-OUT!!!! Anything but THAT!!!"   
  
Galadriel: "Then play nice. And stop picking fights. You know, you could have gotten yourself killed in that silly Last Alliance. And to think, you were fighting alongside those filthy men... *shudders*"   
  
Gandalf: "Um, hello? I'm still on the line."   
  
Galadriel: "Oh... right, sorry. Anywho, Elrond, if you cause any more disturbing battle scenes in this movie, you will be sent RIGHT into that corner to think about what you've done!"   
  
Elrond: "Aw, Mom..."   
  
Galadriel: "I'm not your 'Mom', I'm your mother-in-law. Get with the program."   
  
Gandalf: "Are you two done?"   
  
Galadriel: "Yes."   
  
Gandalf: "Great. Because I need to tell you who has the Ring."   
  
Galadriel: "Who?"   
  
Gandalf: "Frodo Baggins."   
  
Galadriel: "Oh, you mean that cute little hobbit with curly hair and blue eyes?"   
  
Gandalf: "Yeah."   
  
Elrond: "Hey, you guys ever notice that almost everyone in this movie has blue eyes?"   
  
Galadriel: "Shut up! We weren't supposed to notice that! NO ONE MAY KNOW!! IT WOULD BRING ABOUT THE DESTRUCTION OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT!!! Hey, do you guys like chocolate? I looove it. That reminds me of a sto-"   
  
Gandalf: "Galadriel! Just because you have problems with pot doesn't mean you need to take it out on Elrond!"   
  
Elrond: "Yeah!"   
  
Gandalf: "Shut up, Elrond."   
  
Elrond: *sighs*   
  
Galadriel: "Okay, you wanna bring up my pot addiction? What about your 'experiments' with weed?"   
  
Gandalf: "Those were SCIENTIFIC EXPERIMENTS!! You just like getting high!!!"   
  
Elrond: "Why do they call it 'getting high'?"   
  
Gandalf & Galadriel: "SHUT UP!!!"   
  
Elrond: "I think I'll hang up now..."   
  
Galadriel: "Why?"   
  
Elrond: "Um.... I gotta go.... do.... something?"   
  
Gandalf: "Are you making this up so you can get off the phone and not listen to use talk about our drug addiction, as well as avoid being told to shut up again?"   
  
Elrond: "Er... no?"   
  
Gandalf: "Ok, just wondering."   
  
Galadriel: "Yeah, I have to go too. Celeborn wants to use the phone."   
  
Gandalf: "Ok, well, farewell then."   
  
Galadriel: "Until we meet again."   
  
Elrond: "Later."   
  
Galadriel: "Elrond!!! Must you always ruin our dramatic good byes with modern slang??"   
  
Elrond: "Sorry, sorry, let's try again."   
  
Galadriel: "Right then, Gandalf..."   
  
Gandalf: "Farewell, my friends."   
  
Galadriel: "Until we meet again."   
  
Elrond: "*dramatic music swells in the background* In hopes it wi-"   
  
Galadriel: "ELROND!!!"   
  
Elrond: "*music stops* What?"   
  
Galadriel: "That music...?"   
  
Elrond: "It wasn't me!"   
  
Gandalf: *snickers to himself as he hides a tape player containing a tape with dramatic music on it*   
  
Galadriel: "Elrond..."   
  
Elrond: "IT WASN'T ME!!!"   
  
Galadriel: "*sighs* Never mind... Gandalf, start again."   
  
Gandalf: "Farewell, my friends."   
  
Galadriel: "Until we meet again."   
  
Elrond: "In hopes it will be soon."   
  
Silence   
  
Elrond: "Hey! We did it!"   
  
Gandalf: "Go us!"   
  
They have a party for themselves.   
  
Galadriel: "Men..." *hangs up*   
  
Elrond: "Yeah, I should leave now too. I think I hear an annoying buzz from the platform thingy."   
  
Gandalf: "Is it a giant bug?"   
  
Elrond: "Worse; it's Arwen moaning on about Aragorn."   
  
Gandalf: "*shudders* Right, see you later."   
  
Elrond: "Bye." *hangs up*  
  
Gandalf: "Bye..." *hangs up*   
  
Gandalf put his phone away. Somewhere off in the distance, a voice called out. "Ian..." it said, "Ian... Stop making calls while we're filming..."   
Gandalf frowned. It sounded like the voice of the fabled Director-Beyond-The-Backdrop. With a shrug, Gandalf urged his horse into action.   
  
((Riiiight... if anyone enjoys this, I'll write more, but if not... oh well. I WAS REALLY REALLY BORED!!!)) 


End file.
